Have you ever though that just sitting, thinking could be your worst nightmare? Better yet, what about just doing nothing? Well, it sure is mine. After a traumatic brain injury, your mind never stops, so you can't sit and just "do nothing" anymore, you are constantly thinking. But even better, your brain also gets stuck in a very negative mindset - one that is near impossible to breakthrough.
I honestly don't know anything that goes on with any of my old friends anymore. I went to an old friend's homecoming last week and saw a bunch of my old friends there. They were talking about this person or that who had gotten home from their mission, who were across the country with their newlywed, about old girl-friends who were expecting, etc. All of these things I have absolutely not a clue. It is terrible. I worked so stinking hard for so long to earn a solid place in their hearts, to consider myself their friend for life. All to discover that I could be replaced or not even missed.
I thought that moving into my own apartment would be a good opportunity to get to know peers and meet some new friends, but it turned out to have the opposite effect. I don't mean to be so pessimistic all the time, I really don't.