Monday, May 12, 2014

Happy 4 Years

It's that time of year again! It's the time when school comes to an end, college kids move home, and it's time just to enjoy summer. Well, that's what it is for most people. I, however, am not most people. Let's start from the top.
I decided to take 2 college classes (this is a big deal because as of yet, I have only been able to take one college course at a time) for summer semester. Oh wait, not just summer semester, but the first BLOCK of summer semester. "But then you'll have a fun 2nd half of summer, right?" I've heard 100 times. Not exactly but I'll get to that later. Oh, and even better, everyone loves the academic class that I decided to take. Yes, I decided to take this class; Physics. This class meets for two hours on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. :) Then my other class meets for two hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Although this class should be a whole heck of a lot of fun, I'm pretty terrified about it, because I have not taken a PE course since the accident. This class is hip hop dance!! So I have a feeling I will have to become very, very good friends with my professors. :) But, hey, that's nothing I can't handle, I've done that 100 times before!

Okay, now let's talk about how I am not a college kid that moves home. No,
we're not just talking about the fact that I've stayed under my dear, sweet, loving parents care since the accident so I would not be coming home. We're talking I moved out, a week ago. It's a scary thing, but it's also a very good thing. It's a great way to gain some independence. I moved to Orem, so I'm only like 20 minutes away from home. This is a good stepping stone. On the side is a picture of my bed at my new apartment. Yes, cousins, that is my "better-than-a-boyfriend-blanket" draped over the top!
Today marks a very life-changing day in my life. I don't know about you, but exactly 4 years ago, at 8:17 AM I was an entirely different person. I knew what I wanted in life. I knew what my life could be and what it could offer me if I would offer something to it. But what I didn't know is that I would be having quality time with my big sister later that day, and it would shatter absolutely everything I knew and everything I was. I have always had interesting struggles growing up with the family that I have. (In case you don't know, I have two sisters with disabilities.) I have had to mature quickly. I have had to mature even more quickly given the circumstances I was thrown into when I was 16, exactly 4 years ago today. I thought I had a pretty good grasp on the way the world works, the way that people think, etc. Now I realize that I don't have a clue now, and I sure as heck didn't have a clue then. I still am baffled as to why all of my friends abandoned me in my time of need, indicating that I have no idea how their minds work. But, as time moves on, and people move forward, it doesn't matter how much you got robbed of the past or how much you want to stay right where you are. Because people move on with or without you, life changes whether you like it or not, and the sooner you learn to roll with the punches the better off you will be. To anyone hurting with someone who has had a brain injury, encourage them to stop looking back. They will get mad at you, I can almost guarantee it, because for someone with a traumatic brain injury, yes, that is pretty much impossible. But once you get to the point where you can stop comparing yourself to who you were before, (don't get me wrong, I am NOT there yet) I assume life would get so much easier.  But to show you that I am doing my best to put the accident where it belongs and let myself be a new, different and maybe better me, I'm including a picture that I took this morning. This time I will ask the question, which do you like better, short hair or long hair?
Finally, I should update you on the last little piece of news that I got this past week. I get to go in for my 9th surgery - on my head - on July 16th. This surgery is kind of the "fine-tuning" of the last reconstructive. And if you're like everyone I've talked to, you're asking, "Didn't they say the last surgery was going to be your last surgery?" So I just need to clear that up, no, they did not say that. I said that. I wanted it to be the last surgery. But I'm okay with this surgery too. Other than the fact that my surgeon said that this surgery should be more painful than any other surgery I've been through. And that after every surgery I get more and more tolerant to heaver pain medications. So even though this is supposed to be an outpatient surgery, I kind of figure that I'll be in the hospital for longer begging for more intense pain drugs. 

10 comments:

  1. I'm excited for your new apartment! And I can't believe it has been 4 years, wow! I think your hair is super cute!

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  2. You have some amazing insights and depth of character. I love your bed and the refreshing colors. Hang in there. We love and support you!

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  3. So inspiring to see all that you have become Shan. You are amazing! And by the way, I love the long hair.

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  4. I think this is one of the cutest pictures I have seen of you, Shan! Darling. And so fun to see your room. We'll be thinking about and praying for you this week.

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  5. You've made remarkable progress and have gained wisdom and compassion along the way. I'm so excited for you to be able to move out on your own! I'll also being praying for you and the success of your surgery. Way to keep moving forward!!

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  6. I like the long hair better. Love ya Shanny

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  7. Fantastic post. Way to make good on what you promised yesterday. The room looks great and so do you! Remember what I said about taking the missionaries to lunch--or vice versa. Love you tons.

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  8. Way to be Shan! Love your bedding, love your picture, love your hair long and short and everything in between! And we love you!!

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  9. What a wonderful post to read and see how far you've come over the past 4 years. Way to Go! I hope the last two days of school have been successful and enjoyable. Love you.

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  10. Shannon this is so awesome :) I am so excited for you and so happy things are going your way!

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