Monday, May 15, 2017

Cruising the Carribean with a TBI

Oh my goodness! I have so much to write about. But let's take a different approach. This post I'm going to attempt to write what the last month or so has been like coming from a brain injured perspective.
     Let's start off with my first cruise -- with my whole family!!! Okay, what I mean by whole is my parents and all of their kids and grandkids - with the exception of Annika. Which means there were 20 of us. It was SO much fun! I had such a blast. It didn't matter that we were on a cruise, it wouldn't have mattered if we were in Timbuktu. What mattered was that I was with all of my family and it made all the difference. In fact, most of the time I was not bothered by the TBI that I carry with me ALL of the time. There were days/events/moments of course, that it still hit me, and I'll address those, but my family made it worth it. I was with people I love and people who love me. There was always something to do or someone to be with. There was a couple of times where I did get upset - sad, discouraged, miserable. This is something that just happens. Yes, it happens even amidst all of the wonderful blessings that were encompassing me. I am not where I would like to be; my life is not where I had always planned that it would be; I am not the person I should be.
     Furthermore, I could tell you about the excursions that we had on Haiti, Jamaica and Cozumel, Mexico. But that's not the point of this post nor is it truly the point of my blog. Jamaica however did lend quite an opportunity to show you how frustrating dealing with a TBI can be. So we hike up a succession of waterfalls. I'm with 4 of my siblings (or in-laws) and my nieces and nephews who are 15, 13, 8, and 6. So we are having a lot of fun - hiking up waterfalls and then jumping in them. But my feet are KILLING me. Not just because I didn't have any shoes on, but because my feet always hurt. After we are done there, we drive to another fall and I'm exhausted. Not only do my feet hurt but I am tired! I want to go have fun with my family so bad though! But I didn't even want to keep going at the end of that last run. But what happens if I don't go? But what happens if you do go and you suddenly can't go any further? Well shoot. So I sit by myself, doing nothing, NOTHING (which is a whole separate story) for a few hours while I send my 6 year old nephew off to do something that I, a 23 year old, I, Shannon, the funnest aunt ever, I cannot do. What kind of failure is that? (Don't worry, I'm over it, I'm just trying to let you attempt to feel what it might be like to have a TBI.)\
     Okay, so I'm back at home and I forgot how to function without wonderful people bouncing around making me want to be up and doing something. Furthermore I am PISSED. Oh I get pissed off so easily. Thank heavens I'm quick to forgive. But there are some people that just irritate me over and over and over. Oh and I decided to go back to school in the summer to finish off my degree so I'm overwhelmed and stressed beyond belief. I start school like 10 days after we get home from the cruise. And my first class starts at 8 in the morning. And I'm having a hard time getting out of bed period. I'll update you on the first few days of school next time!