Wednesday, April 24, 2013


Suffering unbearable pain which torments my burdened heartache. As if I wasn't already in enough physical and emotional pain, why did you, my last friend (not family) have to tell me that I'm not good enough? How am I suddenly not important enough to even talk to? What changed from a week ago when you were telling me that you would do anything for me, where as now, you won't even pick up the phone? I am SO alone. I don't just "feel" this way. I AM this way. I AM SO ALONE.

I want comments. I need comments. I know that I have said not to leave comments before. But that's not exactly true. What I have actually said is that I don't like those fake comments that people naturally leave after reading a blog post as emotional as mine tend to be. I hate fraudulent people, particularly right after you have poured your heart and soul to them. But that does not mean that I don't need responses. That actually means I need responses more! I have next to no outlet to express my feelings. So I turn to my blog. Then after I make a post I check constantly to see if anyone has commented. But of course, no one does, because I asked fake people not to.

So, just to reiterate the questions I am asking. They are simple. There are only two of them. Why am I not good enough to be a part in your life anymore? What happened that suddenly made it okay for you to kick me in the butt?


  1. I hate to say this, but people do this sometimes. Sometimes being alone can be a gift, because it forces you to spend time learning to love yourself more. It just depends on how you look at it. It really is sucky, and I'm sorry it happened. :(

  2. Love you Shannon. Our kids still pray for you often. We are excited to see you this summer! Hang in there. You are beautiful in every way!

  3. Shannon it has been forever. I still remember having sleep overs and sleeping on your tramp. :)
    Sometimes people leave our lives and it hurts but all in all I think it just makes us stronger and brings us closer to our heavenly father. As silly as it sounds 'where a smile one size fits all' I have to remind myself sometimes. There is always going to be a bright ending to a dark time

  4. Hey Shan :) Remember when we made that fancy 5 course meal that one Sunday for your family? Remember when we would LAUGH about the song "this is a sad song…" Did you play it on the xylophone? Remember when we would play on the organ downstairs? Remember when we played games at your house soon after the accident? I think I remember using or at least seeing your "Fructis" Shampoo in the shower when I stayed the night at your house one time. Do you remember any of these times? I hope you can maybe laugh or smile thinking about our adventures together.

  5. Oh man. Sometimes life sucks. Yes believe it or not all of us have tough times but it does seem like you have been in tough times for a while now. I am sorry for that. Elder Holland said that God has only had imperfect people to work with and that God has had to learn how to be patient and work with us. And we also have to learn and be patient as we work, live, love,be hurt and are around imperfect people too. I am sending you a big aussie squeeze across the great big blue!


  6. Give yourself a break from your problems for a bit and try to focus on others? Our own problems can act like a black hole that suck us up and those we love most! I am not trying to minimize your hardships, but you really only have a few choices of how you are going to react to all this suffering. Be careful not to take your anger out on those who love you! So many of us love you and want to be a part of your life. Ask for help but don't chew up people and spit them out if they don't meet your expectations. The reality is Shan...that no one thinks you are "not good enough". That idea is far from the truth. My mom used to remind me that, "It's not always about you". We are all trying to keep afloat the best we can...we offer what we can...we are all a bit fragile! I love you! I believe in you to find your way through all this! Focus on Building Up those around you! You have this talent, I've seen you in action. Get to work!

    1. Jamee you know how I love you but this was really, really the wrong thing to say

  7. If only we could all walk in each others' shoes for a day, our hearts would be filled with great empathy for those that are so alone and in pain. And for those that in pain, if they could walk in the shoes of those who try to give/show/have empathy for them, their hearts would be filled with gratitude.

  8. Shannon! I need to be better about posting comments! I love looking at your blog and do it frequently! You should post about your family's fun trip to Florida! I'd love to hear about what you did!