Sunday, May 8, 2016

The Semester Comes to An End

Well it's been over a month so I thought I probably ought to provide a quick little update. Thank heavens the semester is FINALLY over. The last month or so has quite honestly killed me. Stressing about finals is awful. But wait a second, let me bring you back into what was going on every single day, all throughout the entire semester. Then you might understand why I've been sleeping so much the past week.
Let's start with Royce. Royce has been my therapist for quite a while now. He is great, but I'm not here to talk about that, I'm simply mentioning that I am doing therapy with Royce, once a week, every week. (Until like 2/3 of the way through the semester, then I dialed it down to every other week). Then we have the fun fact that I decided to get a gym membership and a personal trainer just about a month before the semester started.  So I decided to try to go to the gym at 9:00 every morning. A while back Royce got us connected with a more specialized therapist that I see once a week AS WELL AS seeing Royce. His name is Dr. Kent Gregory, he is a neuropsychologist. Either my mom or my dad typically come with me to see him because they learn so much when we see him. (These things are things to which I say "well duh!!")  I've always been concerned about my water intake; moving out increased my awareness of what kinds of foods I was eating; and getting a personal trainer helped me get even more overwhelmed with what I was eating and drinking. The trainer encouraged me to eat at 5 specific times throughout the day so I set alarms on my phone to tell me when I needed to eat. Oh, and surrounding cognitiveFX I was instructed on some of the more beneficial dietary needs that I should be eating. I was given some water supplement as well. But we're not talking about cognitiveFX just yet, we'll get there, I promise. First day of the semester, I made a point to make friends. So I went into my acting class and I learned everyone's names. It was actually quite a class. Which meant there are a couple of issues, first I have to pay attention to myself socially, because apparently I haven't known what I'm doing for the last 6 years, and second, I actually have to care about what I look like in front of these people! Crap! No, I am trying to mold myself into actually caring about what I look like all the time (except when I'm at home). Then my physics class: My physics class started out as such a review it was so freaking boring! I felt like I knew everything the professor was teaching and then some. Especially considering I was in a math-oriented Physics course in High School and this course was a "conceptual" Physics course. So it was really annoying/frustrating. And I had homework every night. But then, second half of the course came around and suddenly, it was all brand spanking new material. Then we have Dr. Hatch. Dr. Hatch is seriously one of the smartest men I know. He knows things about the brain that only a neurology doctor can know. But Dr Hatch gives me exercises that he wants me to do up to 8 times a day. (Anyone else feel overwhelmed yet?) I could also go into more detail about Dr Hatch, but not right now. Okay, then my Philosophy class, I was super, super excited for this class because I was excited to sit around in a circle and talk with fellow students about philosophers and how the country has disgraced the constitution and how we come about knowing the things that we know. But no, my Philosophy class was NOTHING like this. Instead, it was a class that I had to attend each week to listen to my professor tell me that I was never going to be anything in this world unless I got a masters degree, or participate in conversations regarding a graduate school, etc. So dang, fetch, oh my heck, what the holy scrud?!? (If anyone can guess that reference you'll get a prize!) I was PISSED. This was the last thing I needed. All that I can even focus on right now educationally is an associates. And yes, I hate that far more than all of you combined, I guarantee it. But that's all that I can do right now, so no, I really don't want to talk about graduate school, and I can't have my own professor telling me that I am going to equate to nothing unless I graduate with a freaking Master's. But I'm handling things pretty well at this point. Until I get my first acting assessment back. WHAT? Apparently I had done the monologue better work shopping in class than I did for the "test." And I got a huge mark because of it. I didn't know what I had done better, or worse or anything really, considering unlike everyone else in the class, it was my FIRST acting experience. I got a B and I was confused. The funny thing was that I felt like I deserved an A in this class a whole lot more than I did in my other classes and I had a B+ so I was upset. It also meant that I was going to work my little butt off until each and every next performance. After my TBI, it is hard for me to not see/talk to/be with my mom or dad for long periods of time. And part way through the semester they left for an Anniversary trip! That added stress. Now it's getting spring time and I should start planting the things I want to grow in my garden for the summer. Later on in the semester was everything that took place in my last blogpost, including my Philosophy conference and cognitiveFX. After that crazy, hectic week I was supposed to do 40 minutes of brain games every day, and brain waves periodically throughout the day. And then we went to see the psychiatrist as well, to look at medications because I am losing motivation (among other things).
Which means that besides all of the stuff that I'm doing every week, or the tests that come and go, every single day I'm supposed to be working on: exercises from Dr. Hatch, brain games, brainwaves, water, nutrition, exercises at the gym, etc. And that is stuff besides school. You add school into it, especially finals, and if you've ever gone through finals, hopefully you'll understand the added stress and pressure.
Oh and I published this without adding that I got an A in all my classes (at least I'm pretty sure - not 100% positive on the acting class yet). On the physics final I even got 59/60. Technically I got a Pass in the Philosophy class (it was a pass/fail class). And I don't know anything regarding my acting class because like I mentioned, my acting teacher doesn't input grades!
So yes, for the last 10 days I have been uber depressed, super tired, sleeping exhaustedly, not doing much of anything (except for my girls party), having no motivation whatsoever and not wanting to get back on top of life. And even better, my 6th year anniversary is on Thursday.