I haven't posted for a long time because my life has taken a chaotic spin down misery lane straight through hell. On a similar, yet polar opposite note, my 5 year anniversary is approaching. I have been in a far better state for previous anniversaries, so why is it that this year has to be the BIG 5? I am not going to give you a travel log of my life over the last couple of months nor over the last 5 years. I am hoping to treacherously write an extremely insightful post on my anniversary, (May 12). But that's about all that I can do right now. I don't remember the last time that I felt this anxious about anything.