There are many things associated with severe TBIs that are misunderstood and highly overlooked. There are many things associated with severe TBIs that drive others out of the person's life. There are many things associated with severe TBIs that I wish I could change. Unfortunately, you can't eat a whole elephant in one bite. So we take it piece by piece and ask for help when we get stuck. This particular piece gets me stuck a lot, and I have just blamed the TBI. But today I look at it and say, my dear Heavenly Father, please help me do whatever it is that I need to do so that I do not have this consistent problem. This problem is a little thing we like to call negativity.
Negativity, by definition is "a tendency to be downbeat, disagreeable, and skeptical. It's a pessimistic attitude that always expects the worst." Granted, history has given me every reason to be full of negativity. Not only that, but after a severe TBI, one's brain tends to automatically find fault in everything. I cannot escape it, negativity fills my life everywhere I go. In fact, I am physically incapable of thinking positively. Unfortunately, negativity is the absolute enemy of anything good happening in your life. It seems as though every time I start something new and exciting, I might get a tiny bit of hope, but that hope gets squandered out because of negativity. Negativity is my worst enemy; negativity is Shannon's and Riley's worst enemy; because negativity will bring you exactly what you expect - the worst.
I could highlight ways that negativity has influenced my life, but that would likely be really boring and possibly annoying. (Negativity in action) But besides any of that; that is not the point of this post. This post is a call for help. This call may remind some of you of times 5 years ago; let me remind you, a TBI like mine never goes away. A TBI like mine will always require lots of help. So today I am asking you to join me in fasting this Sunday specifically for Heavenly Father to either dispose of the automatic negativity that immediately registers in my brain, or for Him to show me how and help me do it. I know it's short notice, but I figure it's fast Sunday already. This is one of the largest struggles someone post TBI will ever have to face, but I hope that Riley will not have to live with it her whole life. Thanks to you all.