Monday, June 26, 2017

School..... Oh no!!

     After high school you go on to do one of a few things; you either go on a mission, get a job, get married or go to school. I have hated this ever since I graduated high school although especially around 19 years old. I hated this because I couldn't work a full time job, I could no longer go on a mission like I had always planned, I couldn't do more than one class for the entire year and my social life was at the ultimate low. I still hate that stigmatism. I hate it for the same reasons - with a few altercations. So let's talk about school. Yes, school has been at least somewhat my pursuit. It's been something to keep people off my back about not doing anything - and that's been almost all that it has been; up until this last 1/2 semester. 
     I've decided that school is WAY too hard with a traumatic brain injury so I was just going to get my associates and be done with it. And because it has taken me 6 years to do it, I also have to obtain a 4.0 GPA - even though I have neurological damage that says I shouldn't be alive. As soon as I get my associates, then I would reward myself by finally going on my humanitarian trip to the Philippines, then I would finally look at a job (still can't handle a regular full time job though). And furthermore I was sick of this annoying dialogue that would take place ALL the time about what I was going to do (this is before I came up with the plan I just told you about). But where the real trouble came from was the consistent battle inside of myself. I am driven for continual progression and I'm hate to say it but even all the therapy that I was doing wasn't satisfying that internal conflict. 
     So, being sick of this continual struggle, I finally gave in and said "Screw it! I'll just get it done this semester!" What? Yeah. I had 12 more credit hours to finish and the most I had ever done in a full semester before was 7. This semester is summer. The good news however, is that I like the faster pace of things, but anyway I decided to somehow manage 12 credits into the summer semester without totally killing myself. Although, I had wanted to take this Intro to Brain and Behavior class about a year ago but I ended up dropping it. So I decided to try to take it again. I went to class the first few days and wanted to drop it again, but I decided to try to stick it out. Here's where things went wrong. 
     This class was going to be the most difficult class I had ever taken and it was. But once again, I pulled an A so that wasn't the problem. The problem was that I loved this class! Okay, I didn't love the class per say but I love the material. I love the brain. It fascinates me so much and is so intriguing. I'm kind of super upset that God had to give me a TBI for me to take this route, but... His way is higher than my way. So now I think I may end up continuing school. Not at UVU - likely at BYU because they have a neuroscience program. But this is just about the last thing I wanted - to stay in school. Anyway, I think you've heard about enough from me for now!

1 comment:

  1. Hey Shan, Love the passion and the quest that you have to learn and especially to apply that knowledge in ways that will benefit others--particularly those who need your understanding and compassion. It must be tough to be so smart!!