I've decided that school is WAY too hard with a traumatic brain injury so I was just going to get my associates and be done with it. And because it has taken me 6 years to do it, I also have to obtain a 4.0 GPA - even though I have neurological damage that says I shouldn't be alive. As soon as I get my associates, then I would reward myself by finally going on my humanitarian trip to the Philippines, then I would finally look at a job (still can't handle a regular full time job though). And furthermore I was sick of this annoying dialogue that would take place ALL the time about what I was going to do (this is before I came up with the plan I just told you about). But where the real trouble came from was the consistent battle inside of myself. I am driven for continual progression and I'm hate to say it but even all the therapy that I was doing wasn't satisfying that internal conflict.
So, being sick of this continual struggle, I finally gave in and said "Screw it! I'll just get it done this semester!" What? Yeah. I had 12 more credit hours to finish and the most I had ever done in a full semester before was 7. This semester is summer. The good news however, is that I like the faster pace of things, but anyway I decided to somehow manage 12 credits into the summer semester without totally killing myself. Although, I had wanted to take this Intro to Brain and Behavior class about a year ago but I ended up dropping it. So I decided to try to take it again. I went to class the first few days and wanted to drop it again, but I decided to try to stick it out. Here's where things went wrong.
This class was going to be the most difficult class I had ever taken and it was. But once again, I pulled an A so that wasn't the problem. The problem was that I loved this class! Okay, I didn't love the class per say but I love the material. I love the brain. It fascinates me so much and is so intriguing. I'm kind of super upset that God had to give me a TBI for me to take this route, but... His way is higher than my way. So now I think I may end up continuing school. Not at UVU - likely at BYU because they have a neuroscience program. But this is just about the last thing I wanted - to stay in school. Anyway, I think you've heard about enough from me for now!
Hey Shan, Love the passion and the quest that you have to learn and especially to apply that knowledge in ways that will benefit others--particularly those who need your understanding and compassion. It must be tough to be so smart!!
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