Sunday, October 31, 2010

4.0 and faith

Well my friends, I figured we should probably update the blog a lot more often. So here I am, updating the blog. First things first, I think this term I’m getting a 4.0! I am so excited for that! Especially for getting an A in that wretched AP Biology class. I didn’t think that was even possible, but here I am with an A in AP Biology! And even better is that this class is one of the few which have already put in all of their stuff for this term, unlike many of my other classes, which would be why I’m not totally certain I have a 4.0. So anywho, my sister-in-law, Kim, told me I needed to further emphasize my 4.0 on here by saying some of the following things. I’m getting a 4.0 this term. Not only that, but I also have 3 AP classes. So the 4.0 on a weighted scale would be much higher. And I had a brain injury just 5 and ½ months ago. It wasn’t just some lousy brain injury either folks, it was a BAD one. It was one that was a necessity to take out an entire ½ section of my skull. If they would’ve only taken out a ¼, like they usually do, I would have died. It caused me to be 7 weeks in that freaking hospital. In fact, I’m not even supposed to be in school right now, let alone getting straight A’s. If any other person EVER, were to ever do this, they would for sure have gotten maybe only like C’s or something. Like we’ve said all along, I’ve defied all odds ever written in any stinking book! Huzzah!

As for everything else, I cannot quite get enough faith or prayers or whatever in my behalf these days. I’ve tried my very hardest to come closer to the Lord, but for some odd reason, I still feel so distanced. Even with my whole heart believing that He can do ANYTHING, I still don’t seem to have enough faith. So if anyone has any great ideas for me that would be spectacular. I mean hey, I’m reading my scriptures every day, saying my prayers every day, etc, yet for some reason I still can’t feel His love. Or anyone’s love for that matter. In all honesty, I have no clue who the crap actually wants me in their life or not. Which is something super hard and extremely sad to try to deal with. Because even my parents, I feel like I’m just a burden to them. And I know I’m not, at least I must not be, but I can’t feel it. And I know that must be hard to understand but it’s just how I feel.


  1. Hi Shannon,
    I am a really good friend of your sister in law Kim! I have been following your blog ever since she told me about your injury. I hope you don't mind if I leave you some advice! I know you don't know me, but it broke my heart when I opened your blog tonight and read your post.
    I think that the miracles all around you are great signs that you are very very loved by your Heavenly Father, your brother Jesus Christ and your paretns. Also many others including myself who have prayed for you and fasted for you.
    I do know what you mean when you say that you are doing everything right and still don't feel His love, but maybe he's showing it to you in a way that is different than you are seeing it. Maybe it's the fact that you are geting a 4.0 with just having had a brain injury. It's hard to feel that love when we are trying to feel it in a way that you want to see it,but maybe it's beng sent in a different way than you are use to. Ask Heavenly Father to let you feel that love and then stay on your knees until you do. It will come! I promise! I've been through this before!! Look around at the things that make you happy and know that He is a part of that!
    Anyway I hope you don't mind me sharing this and I hope that you will feel and KNOW that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love you more than you could possibly imagine. That's my testimony to you! Love Nikki Ward from Winston Salem NC

  2. hi shannon- It is so fun to see how great you are doing!! 4.0, acceptance to UofU and my personal favorite- you can carry your backpack and your computer bag at once--YEAH!!:) You truly are doing great and you are such a neat person. I think of you often. Holly Nelson, PT