Ouch.

Let's just give a quick update. Last surgery, about 10 days ago. They expected just to have me in, do a quick hour and a half surgery and send me right home. Didn't quite work out that way. When they brought me out of surgery they asked me what my pain level was, and putting Brian Regan jokes aside, I said 9.5/10. So they put me on different narcotics trying to ease the pain. It didn't get much better. By the time 7:30 or 8:00 rolled around my pain level was still at about 8.5, so they admitted me into the CSU (Children's Surgical Unit) for an overnight stay so that they could get my pain to a more manageable level. I stayed awake all night long. I felt terrible for the nurse because I kept calling her back in to ask her questions about medications, or what kinds of snacks I could have and stuff, but she was great. I think over the course of the night they got me down to pain level 7/10 on oxycodon, but I had also spiked back up to 9.5 throughout the course of the night as well. By about 7 in the morning we had finally started to see some real improvement with some of the pain meds. We had finally felt like maybe we could send me home. So I went home Thursday afternoon. Since The 21st of March I have constantly battled a roller coaster of pain management. It has been especially hard because we are trying to save the really heavy stuff for the times that we know I'm going to be in the most pain. For example, when I go into the hospital again this Tuesday to have the doctors inject more saline into my expanders. While worrying about that, I have also been concerned about not taking loritab too often because loritab has been my go-to medicine when my headaches are really, really bad and NOTHING seems to be able to knock them. And I don't want to have built up a tolerance to loritab as well. But I am still in so much flipping pain. That's about that.

More Brain Surgeries!

I write today to inform anyone who still reads my blog of the upcoming surgeries. I go back to Primary's on Wednesday, (March 20) where they will preform a lesser-degree surgery. This surgery is to place two "expanders" in the back of my head. The purpose for this surgery is to stretch the skin covering my skull. They need this added elasticity for a couple of reasons. One is so that they can stretch it over the synthetic plate which they will be adding to my current skull (I'll explain in a minute). Another reason is so that the surgeon can have extra skin to work with, reducing the risk of infection. And as an added bonus, my surgeon said that he would cut out my original scar, and stitch up where there would not already be scar tissue. (Unfortunately I can't have them give the scar to me.) I then get to put in more saline into these expanders until the next surgery.

The next surgery is scheduled for May 3. This surgery is where they will take care of all of the reconstructive work. First they will take out all of my current plates and screws (which I am getting, don't worry!). They have made a plate of synthetic bone-like-material via a 3D CT scan. So the next step is where they will go in and match that to my skull. This surgery will probably take approximately 6-8 hours. I will then stay at least a couple of nights at the hospital. 

I am hoping that these will be the last two cranial surgeries I ever have to have. Then I feel like I will finally be able to move on and put all of the accident in the past. Because of this, I have been starting to make all sorts of fun plans for after these surgeries. So, yeah, I think that's about it! :)

Where Are You Now?

To my favorite teacher
Told me never give up
To my eigth grade crush 
Who I thought I really loved
To the guys I miss
And the girls I list
Where are you now?
To my ex best friends
Don't know how we grew apart
To my favorite bands
And sing a longs in my car
To the face I see in my memories
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cause I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you
I would never be who I am

To my family who prayed without end

To the ones who watched

For every time that I twitched

Where are you now?

To my first boyfriend
I thought for sure was the one
To my last boyfriend
Sorry that I screwed up
To the ones I loved
But didn't show it enough
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cause I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you
I would never be who I am

I know we'll never see those days again
And things will never be that way again
But that's just how it goes
People change but I know I won't forget you

To the ones who cared
And who were there from the start
To the love that left
And took a piece of my heart
To the umpteen who'd swear
They'd never go anywhere
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cause I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you
I would never be who I am

If it wasn't for you
I would never be who I am
If it wasn't for you I'd be nothing
Where are you now?