Tuesday, October 6, 2015

A New Perspective

Conference weekend was incredible for me. I wrote down many, many questions I had going into General Conference. Then I tried to pay attention really well and take notes on all the speakers so that I could get answers to my dozens of questions. Unfortunately... my TBI brain cannot last quite so long, but I still got some very important instruction.
Elder Lawrence's talk on Saturday morning instructed us to go to the Lord and ask "What lack I yet?" or "what do I need to do to further my own progression?" Between sessions on Sunday, I went upstairs, knelt down and did just that. I didn't get any sort of answer like Elder Lawrence talked about. I didn't feel the Holy Ghost telling me what I needed to do next. But instead, I gained so much more. 
Let me talk about two things that occurred. First, I distinctly realized as I was communicating with my Father in Heaven that I am the same person, the same beloved daughter of God that I always have been. The same spirit I was before the accident. Yes, the TBI gets in the way all too often, especially in my dealings with other people, but in the end, in Heavenly Father's eyes, I am still His righteous daughter. So, as I was beginning to do anyway, I have changed everything back to Shannon Blackham. (P.S. I have an instagram account -ShannonBlackham- and you should follow me!)
But the second thing is far more important. I learned why I am still here. Yes there have been little things along the way that I've said, "maybe..." but no, now I know. It is none of the "maybes" from before. The reason why I chose to live is because I said "Lord, I will return to be a living, walking, breathing testament of thy reality, of thy love, and of thy infinite atonement." So this is what I have decided to change my life to be. After having this newly acquired vision, I have felt so much better, so much stronger. I have been able to take things that would have been devastating even hours before, I have been able to resist temptation when it is right in front of me. I have the desire to do good continually. Because I am here - quite literally, I am here to show the world that we have a Father in Heaven who sent His Son, who came as a baby and changed the world. Through Him we can each do things we never thought possible. Through His infinite atonement, we do not have to suffer alone, and our sufferings can be made light. I am a living testament of that. As such, I will go throughout the world proclaiming His name and rejoicing in His grace. 

7 comments:

  1. Wow Shan! I seriously feel like i just read the prophets testimony or something! Lol but really.... I don't think I've written anything even close to as powerful as the words I just read. I love you. You are exactly that in my life. You have no doubt strengthened my testimony of Christ and the love he offers us.

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    1. Thank you so much Trish. I love you so much and I want you to know that I never would have gotten to this point without you. Because you have strengthened my life, no doubt.

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  2. Shannon,

    I have read this a couple times and I am amazed at your insight the way you put it to words. It is Sunday morning, and I felt that I had to read this to Lilly. As I was reading it to her, I realized that our family is blessed to have many examples of our Father's Love. I am so grateful that you are part of my family. Your strength through this ordeal has been an inspiration to me. I am so glad that you have found your vision and hope that you keep this post close to your heart and read it often. Love you tons!

    From Lilly:
    Shanny, that was a great testimony. It really inspired me. I am going to listen more thoroughly in General Conference or in any Church meetings. Love you Shanny!

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    1. Thank you so much Nathan. Lilly's comment is really sweet. You both have been so supportive of everything I've gone through and I'm so grateful for each of you!

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  3. I needed to hear this. I love what you said about the atonement and our sufferings being made light.

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  4. I needed to hear this. I love what you said about the atonement and our sufferings being made light.

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  5. Amazing Shannon!! Such wonderful insights and truths. Thanks for taking the time to share these inspiring words. Love you!!

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