This last week has been harder than it ever should have been. Multiple times a day I would have to say to myself, "Shannon, you are here for a reason; don't get discouraged; find that light; be strong; you can do this; this will not be your undoing" etc, etc. Because quite honestly, this week I have had a LOT of things attack me; things I felt would just destroy me. But, we must stand out from the crowd, we must be different. This was the "theme" many of us took from General Conference. So that's what I've been trying my best to do.
Each week I am posting a different scripture on my door so that I see it before I leave. This has helped me be a little bit stronger. So let me share them with you. Last week, the scripture was Joshua 1:9, which goes something like this: ...be strong and of a good courage, for the Lord thy God is with thee; withersoever thou goest. Applicable, right? Yeah well, how about this week... Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." I didn't search for these scriptures, they fell into my lap (in a sense). I testify that the Lord knows exactly what we need. As a matter of fact, He knows what we'll need years later. For example, when I was a young teenager, I would collect the little cards that would come out in the New Era. I would look at them, and then put them in my drawer, so it was good, but there wasn't a real purpose as to keeping them. Until today. Today I put them all around the family room in my apartment. This is one way that I am keeping the light burning within me, and being missionary to my roommates.
As far as more-TBI related stuff.... As many of you may or may not know, math has always been my thing. I've been really good at it for as long as I can remember and I developed a desire to teach AP Calculus in my AP Calculus class. My current job is tutoring kids with math. I have been so frustrated because I can't remember things that I should know. That and the new curriculum that they are teaching in schools is absolutely awful. So I asked my boss if I could take an assessment to determine where I would place in Mathnasium's (where I work) curriculum. It took a lot of digging, and it took me to full on cognitive fatigue a couple of times - so I had to leave and come back, and it hasn't officially been scored yet. But, I feel very confident in all of my answers. What? Wait a second, but I suck at math now. Yeah, so it takes me a lot longer, but maybe I don't suck at math. I don't know. So for someone dealing with a TBI, I'm saying that while there may most definitely be things that will be lost - especially for TBIs as severe as mine - that not everything is a lost cause. Some things, the things that really matter to you, with a lot of Heavenly Father's help, you can still obtain the info that you have locked inside of your head. Yes, there is no doubt that it will take longer. there is no doubt that it will be harder, but you can still access it through the atonement of the One who saves us all. Granted, not all TBIs are the same, for some, life will not be this hard. I'm just warning you for the worst. But oh how great it is to finally fully - admittedly -rely on the Lord!
Just a few further notes. First, take a look at the new poll, and please vote. Second, if you friend request me on facebook and I don't know you, please write me a message or something, otherwise I will not add you. Yes, I am one of those weird people that only adds people I actually know. Follow me on instagram, believe in Christ, and know that He is the only way that I am still here. I love the Lord and yes times are extremely difficult, but I am excited.