Oh good gracious, it feels like a LONG time since I've written. But, over the last few weeks I have been running myself dry every single day. Much of this has to do with new doctors and a personal trainer that have just been introduced into my life. I will admit however, that it is totally my fault that I am exhausting myself to the point of no return. At least that's what it feels like - when you wake up in the morning and you don't even want to get out of bed, to do anything. I can't even get up to brush my teeth, or say prayers, or thank Heavenly Father for everything He has done for me. I can't even get up to get a drink of water. But all of this exhaustion is from great, tremendous efforts however.
Doctor numero uno - Dr. Hatch. He is incredible! I think that he is one of the smartest men out there. I will tell him a problem I've been having and he will tell me that it's a malfunction of this one particular neruopathway. "So, let's fix it!" he'll say. He also knows how to find out the emotions that are hard wired in your subconscious. So he is having me do 5 different exercises 4-8 times a day. That is the first thing that's wearing me out.
Personal Trainer - Wow. Can we talk about muscle imbalances??? Actually I later mentioned it to Dr. Hatch and he put the pieces together for me that when I was hit by the backhoe, it sent my brain propelling backwards, so now I find my center of balance leaning way back. (We also did tests and stuff and it was really kind of funny). So that's why all of my muscles in the front of my body are overcompensating for the muscles in the back of my body. My body knows that I need to be perpendicular with the floor, but my brain thinks otherwise. So my muscles have been trying to overcompensate for 5 1/2 years! But anyway, so with ALL of these muscle imbalances, I've been given like 18 different exercises to do to strengthen these muscles. And I also need to do cardio (so that I can see my 6-pack). Furthermore, Dr. Hatch also told me that I should be doing one of his exercises after I do the strength exercises so that my body will not still feel like it needs to be falling backwards. It exhausts me just to write about it!
Last new doctor - Dr, Fong. Oh my goodness. She treats mild concussions and severe TBIs both. But she told us that she had never been quite as shocked as she was when she looked at my scores. We started her treatment regime by doing an fMRI (functional MRI). For someone with an injury as severe as mine, with a glascow coma score of 3, someone who lived solely by the grace of Jesus Christ, my scores from the fMRI were outstanding. It provided me with assurance that every stupid little thing that we have done over the last 5 years 7 months and 1 day has been doing something good. We have been supporting my little brain in every possible way for the last 5 1/2 years. There is not a single thing that we have done that hasn't made some kind of impact. There isn't a single thing that I have done that hasn't made me so much better than I would have been. I should have been on the extremely dysfunctional results of the fMRI, but I wasn't. Don't get me wrong, I still struggle - severely - in specific areas (like social, go figure), but because of all of the HARD, excruciatingly difficult work that I have done. I am NOT where I am expected, where I should be. Dr. Fong has a completely different spin on making changes, and "fixing" the TBI. I will have to go through a week long "therapy on steroids" (therapy meaning like PT, OT, Speech, not like let's listen to your feelings). And I'll be doing this right in the middle of school. So I'm excited, but also scared. If I'm barely holding on now, I don't know how I'll be able to manage that. But it will be worth it.