What do all of these things have in common? Pain. Emotions. Feelings. All things that are felt and processed in the right side of the brain. Why does this matter Shannon? Because like so many other things, it represents the opposite world I was thrown into post-accident. I am very left-brained by nature. I think things through very logically and mathematically. I need order, I need things to make sense. Yet, when the accident happened, I was thrown into a world dominated by right-brained activity.
So, what can be done? It's not as easy as it sounds. It's not as easy as learning to write with your non-dominant hand although that is controlled by opposite hemispheres of your brain. It takes some serious integration and let me tell you, that is not an easy thing. I don't know all the ways to integrate the brain, nor will I claim to. But I can tell you how I've started doing it and things that loved ones can do to assist. I have had to tell myself that it's okay to let the trauma out, but I have to have my journal close by me whenever possible. This is because the second something starts to boil up, I have to immediately start to write about it. Whether there is something or someone that triggered it, or sometimes it's crazy dreams at night, but as I begin to write, I am naming (left-brain) the emotions (right-brain) I am feeling. And as things continue to come up, I have to keep trying to describe what I'm feeling and what caused it. Writing it, saying it out loud, activates the left brain and allows for better integration.
Others who are trying to help need to understand first and foremost that getting angry and frustrated with the individual will only make matters worse. Trying to throw logic (left-brain) at someone who is very emotionally charged (right-brain) is not going to do anything positive. What needs to happen first is understanding. You have to meet the right-brain with right-brain. It doesn't matter how irrational you think the behavior is, you have to find out why they are acting/feeling that way and make the feel heard and felt. It is important that you validate their feelings by showing care, concern, or even shared anger and frustration in your words and facial expressions. It is not until that point that you can present logic or rationale. After you have let them feel their feelings, understood them, and let them feel validated, then you can introduce other perspectives, lessen the reaction, etc.
