Forgiveness

 Sometimes one of the hardest things is forgiveness. Often times we think that the person that hurt us will suffer as long as we hold on to the pain that they inflicted upon us. I testify that it absolutely does not hurt them, it only hurts you. It is at times the absolute hardest thing to let that pain go; especially when it has caused you trauma for the rest of your life. There are people who you may have to forgive every single day, just as the Amish people did when a man killed all of their children in Amish Grace. Forgiveness is not always easy, and this is when you have to pray and ask the Lord for help to forgive. One of the best ways I have found to do this is to ask Heavenly Father to increase your love for them, your understanding of their situation, and open your heart to a more eternal perspective, to have the faith that He will take care of it in the end. 

Forgiveness is NOT condoning their actions. Forgiveness is NOT dismissing the pain that you feel, or invalidating the heartache they may have caused. Forgiveness is the most wonderful gift, that frees us and liberates our soul when we have been wounded by someone else's actions. Forgiveness IS rather giving the pain to the Savior, who has already felt our pain, who knows the perfect justice required. Forgiveness is not for the other person, in fact, it actually has absolutely zero effect on them, but 100% percent effect on you. Forgiveness allows you to move forward, not necessarily move on, but move forward. 

You may chose to continue to grow the relationship and let it flourish, or you may chose to distance yourself. It may not be a choice that you get to make. It is one of the hardest things for me to not have a say in that one. Complete forgiveness has taken a long time for me to learn, and with some situations, it still takes a long time. 

Forgiveness is about looking towards the future and trusting that God has something greater in the future than in your past. That one is really difficult for me, as I wish that all of my old friends to know that I have fully forgiven them and I hope that they can fully forgive me and that we can resume our relationship. I have so many scars when it comes to relationships that it is really hard for me to make friends now so I don't know how God can create something better in that arena. I have to have faith, even when faith is so challenging. 

I have such a strong testimony in the power of forgiveness. I would be in constant agony if I was unable to call upon the Lord and ask Him to help me have greater capacity to see His children as He does, and forgive their actions. I am so grateful for His love, His forgiveness and the strength He provides someone like me. I encourage you all to seek forgiveness for those who have hurt you. Try to move forward, even when the pain continues to come, as it will. Love the Lord, and through Him, love His children,

The Prince of Peace

 Ever since the accident I've made a habit of receiving priesthood blessings. On Thursday, I received a blessing with some pretty direct instruction; start praying consistently with full power of heart for the pure love of Christ. To be honest, I wasn't sure how capable I was going to be considering the majority of my prayers recently had been "Heavenly Father, just help me."  But, it was very clear and very direct, so I took it upon myself and tried it. 

On Friday, the most amazing thing happened! I gained an entirely new perspective on life! It was incredibly POWERFUL and SO AMAZING! Every terrible trial that I go through yes, does anguish the Lord, but he allows them to happen because He can see the whole picture. I can't always see the good out of some things even in hindsight, but He knows how it shapes me to be more prepared, more resilient for what's ahead. I am put through the refiners fire in a way I've never understood before. To be pure and clean in His sight, I must be tried in every possible way. I've learned that it's more than just trusting or relying on the Lord (although definitely those two as well) it's a concept I've never understood - let Him direct you in all things; live in the world, but not of the world, You can be informed of what's going on, but do not let your mind dwell on it. 

How the heck can you do that though? How can you bare the most difficult challenges and struggles? Jesus Christ. He is the Answer. He is ALWAYS the answer, He is the ONLY answer. But how can you redirect your anxious mind? A lot of deep, sincere pleadings and focusing on the bigger picture. Try to remember that what you are going through will soon pass and you will come back brighter, with a more sure testimony, and a stronger, mightier warrior for Christ in these last days! How grateful we must be to be able to stand and fight for Him! He is Christ! The Great King Emmanuel, the Lord of ALL the Heaven and Earth. I know this to be true, His love is God's love. With it, mountains can move, minds can be fixed and most importantly, hearts can be healed. When we are fully overcome by His love, the pain ceases. The memories do not, but the pain does. When we allow His love to envelop us, the chaos in the world no longer matters. He is hope. He is light, He is truth, He is the way, He is our advocate with the Father and He is the Prince of Peace.