Resources

I currently have 15 drafts of blogposts that I want to write. 15! But I also haven't posted much in a really long time, so something is wrong with this picture.... Well, it's called I have a TBI, and very limited resources. What do I mean by resources? Let me illustrate this reference we use so often.
An average person (someone without a TBI) starts everyday with 100% of their resources. Like this picture of a jar full of jellybeans. As you go throughout the day you use resources - thinking, observing, working, etc. So for this average person, getting ready for the day might take 2 of the jellybeans out of the jar. Going to school, maybe 20; going to work, depending on how much you like your job 10-50. Relaxing puts jellybeans back into said person's jar. That's an average person...

For me, and people like me (people with a TBI), we don't start with 100% of resources, probably more like 60%, like you can see in the picture to the right. For me, getting ready takes 15-20 jellybeans out of this jar; and there really aren't enough to take that many out. (Hence why I almost never get ready!) Going to school takes out at least 45 resources/jellybeans. By this time I've got practically none left, so you can see why I can't go to school and work at the same time. There are numerous things that drain my resources all the time as well; things like relationships (or lack thereof), messy areas, constant pain, and most importantly stimuli - including temperature changes, sights, noises, smells/odors, tastes, etc.  What makes things even worse is that "relaxing" can be extremely damaging as well. The way that the average person thinks of relaxing is devastating for me. The best way I can relax is by doing things that overly involve my brain (like Sudoku) or by watching Psych! Unfortunately however, neither of those things work every time. And even at that, it doesn't exactly deposit jellybeans back into the jar either, or at least not very fast.
So it doesn't take very long for my jar to get completely empty, when the average person's very rarely ever does. When the jar does get completely empty that's when I am too exhausted to do anything for myself - including fall asleep. Yes, it takes resources to fall asleep and sleeping in and of itself barely replenishes resources.