TBIgraine

 

My head was on fire all day yesterday. I say 'on fire' because there is no way to describe a "headache" after a traumatic brain injury. It is worse than a migraine, it is lightyears beyond someone's worst headache because it is a severely injured brain that is pulsing with pain. "The pain [from headaches] originates from the tissues and structures that surround the skull or the brain." Aka, headaches are not associated with the actual brain. Migraines on the other hand, (although the area between headaches and migraines is very grey in today's world) do stem from the brain according to most medical experts. They hypothesize that there is disruption in blood flow attacking neuronal pathways. I have decided that a TBI - migraine should just be called a "TBIgraine." 

With a traumatic brain injury, it doesn't matter where the pain initially originates, the pain quickly is dispersed and amplified throughout the entire brain, upper neck, and surrounding tissues, along with other symptoms associated with typical migraines. (For example, I get nauseous and vertigo.) I cannot explain how a post-traumatic-brain-ache feels. I cannot express how much pain I’m in when it’s happening.

           The other thing that does not help others comprehend the severity is how much pain tolerance I have grown into. The first few times I got one of these headaches, I was taken to the Emergency Room because I literally thought I could not make it through the next few hours. But having dealt with these for the last 10+ years, I’ve grown accustomed to the pain and I know what I have to do. I live with the ‘insufferable’ pain and I continue to “function” as much as I can. But believe me when I say that does NOT mean that you would ever want to feel this pain. 😊 

Battle Fatigue

A healing brain is constantly working at a million miles a second in 300 different directions. All the while, our minds are still trying to process what has happened to us. In the matter of a split second our entire world changed. Those of us who suffered a severe  brain injury, lost everyone we knew and loved, lost all of the experiences we ever had and lost everything we ever knew - even to the core of ourselves. The grief is unimaginable, inexplainable and treacherous beyond words. To top it all off, it will last the rest of our lives. It does not matter what we do or where we turn, something is different or feels off and we are reminded of everything we lost. I will post more on grieving later on in the month. But today, I wanted to make a post stating that while there are a lot of fascinating things to know about the brain and injuries that can occur, I'm still living with one. 

It's a constant battle, trying to let go of the past, but hold on to ourselves. The fight between holding on and letting go is draining and all that we want is to return to the person we were before. We will never get that, and every reminder stings. Because of the ultimate exhaustion, you need to give me some grace when it comes to posting great things every day! 

Traumatic and Not Traumatic

 My dad and I visited some family friends in Vernal, Utah a number of months ago. The 17 year old daughter had ripped, holy jeans, so all of the adults were giving her a hard time about them. She explained that these particular jeans with too many rips were thick which made them really nice. We asked her what the opposite of thick was. Her reply, "not thick." 

Did the people who classifies brain injuries use this same logic? Because the two types of brain injury are traumatic and non-traumatic. A non-traumatic brain injury often is referred to as an acquired brain injury, even though "an acquired brain injury (ABI) is an injury to the brain that is not hereditary, congenital, degenerative, or induced by birth trauma. Essentially, this type of brain injury is one that has occurred after birth. The injury results in a change to the brain’s neuronal activity, which affects the physical integrity, metabolic activity, or functional ability of nerve cells in the brain. An acquired brain injury is the umbrella term for all brain injuries. There are two types of acquired brain injury: traumatic and non-traumatic.” (biausa.org) The difference between the two is essentially where the trauma comes from. What makes a brain injury traumatic is if the brain disruption comes from an external force. A nontraumatic brain injury occurs when the brain has an internal failure, i.e. stroke, aneurysm, tumor, or any lack of oxygen.

That's just some factual information. Stay tuned for tomorrow!