Sometimes it is just hard to write on the blog when it isn't all about great success. Yet, I guess without it there is no opposition for us to appreciate those many many days of positive results.
Shannon had such a good day yesterday that we thought we had turned the corner on the depression. No one ever likes to admit to dealing with depression but I asked Shannon if she wanted me to add her sadness to the blog so people could pray for her specific need and she said yes. I can't imagine what it must be like to be out having fun and the next thing you remember is waking up in some hospital not being able to do all the things you used to be able to do and being in pain as well. It is very confusing to her to know that she already knows how to do these things that they are making her do, and yet in doing them, she has difficulty. It doesn't make sense.
If Shannon had had her way today, she would have stayed in bed and slept all day. She wouldn't eat and drank very little. All the docs, nurses and therapists agree that Shannon hasn't been herself for several days-close to a week now. Her headaches are better but she has been having a lot of stomachaches. She had just finished a round of augmentin, an antibiotic that can cause stomach discomfort, we had stopped the stimulant, we stopped the previset which can cause additional stomach issues and discussed any other possibility for physical reasons for Shannon's behaviors. None of them seemed like the whole answer. So we had the neuropsych doctors come and do an evaluation. They definitely believe that she is dealing with depression. They did say that brain injured people do fight with mental health issues more than those without. So that bit of information was added to the whole discussion. In reality we think it was probably a little bit of everything. With Shannon's participation, we decided to go back on the stimulant which helps the antidepressant to work better. We are putting a very detailed schedule together so she has to get up and doing things.We have put some rewards and motivators in place for therapy performance. And then see how things are going in a few days.
One of the things that has been so amazing to me is Shannon's willingness to acknowledge the problem and agree to what it takes to get better. If we ask her if she is depressed, she says yes. She knows what she is dealing with. So at one point today, I picked her up off the bed and put her in the chair and said, "Shannon you know that I am showing you tough love, don't you?" She responded that she did. Then I asked her if she wanted me to stop; she said no. She wants the help to pull her out of the darkness. She would very much just like to go home to her safe confines. I tell you it is very tough when your child cries out, "mommie,please take me home." and you know that you can't and it would not be in her best interest to do so. But still....
Shannon has some amazing adult figures in her life which we have always been grateful for. They can pull Shannon out of the dumps even if it is temporary. They have been up to see Shannon at some of her worse times and made a huge difference in her. They are just all part of God's miracle and His angels.
Quickly i will add one experience that again shows us how mindful the Lord is of us. Shannon was having a really down time and I was getting discouraged. So I text one of these amazing adult individuals that just happens to live only a few blocks away and told her what was happening. She asked if she could come up right then to see Shan. I was hoping that that was what she would say because I didn't have any more ideas to try. I typed a text that simple said, "yes you can". As you know, we don't have great cell coverage in the hospital. But I knew the spot where the phone had to be in order for a text to go through. I was in that spot but the text didn't go through. I had 5 bars showing on my phone. I sent it again. Still it didn't go through. They always went through before in that spot on the second try. Well I tried 3 more times (total of 5) and it wouldn't go through. I began to pray and ask Heavenly Father if there was a reason she shouldn't come now or if it was the adversary stopping things. I couldn't figure it out. I finally text another message saying that I didn't know if she should come up or not. I hit the sent button watching to see if it would go through and it was taking forever. And then...it didn't go through but she came bursting in the room, having run the entire distance to get to the hospital. She felt inspired to bring certain things with her and to just go! She spent the next couple of hours with Shannon and did some amazing things. The Spirit in the room was strong and Shannon began to make the turn around. The Lord sent her because the adversary didn't want her to come make a difference. To me, its yet ANOTHER time that the Lord has expressed His love to me by creating another miracle using one of His angels here on earth! I am so blessed.
And tomorrow will be a better day!