"You're Not Busy"

 “Lilly, come give grandpa a hug!” “mmm… I too busy right now!” was the response my dad got from my niece when she was about 3 years old. People often don’t think that (TBI) warriors can ever use this as a reason (not excuse). The cause is largely because of the invisibility of brain injuries, resource depletion, and constant rebuilding of self on the inside. Not only does just living our daily lives exhaust us, but we have many, many different appointments to try to regain any sense of normalcy. We also still feel like us on the inside, so we hold on to things that we used to do or dream. Let me illustrate that a little bit:

The new brain therapy that I briefly mentioned earlier on is destroying me. It is attacking my brain via MULTIPLE stimuli which in turn makes my brain angry, my body exhausted, and tenses every single muscle. I cannot do much of anything after all of this. Yet, this is something that needs to be done every single day for 2 months to be effective. So, I am running on zero fumes.

But, at the same time, I cannot stop parts of my regular life. I can’t stop some therapies that although draining, are extremely beneficial. I cannot stop seeing my dermatologist nor psychiatrist. I can’t stop taking any of my medications – despite any side effects. I can’t stop going to my physical therapist, neuromuscular therapist, nor chiropractor simply because my body needs them now more than ever. Not to mention I’m getting more “TBIgraines” than usual.

Then the “ME” – what I, as Shannon wants to be doing. Things like going back to school in April and taking one of the hardest classes – so I want to prepare for it by learning as much as I can before the class starts. Additionally, posting about traumatic brain injuries every day in March on my blog. Brain injuries are something I’m very passionate about (for obvious reasons) and there is simply not enough awareness out there.

Those with a traumatic brain injury are some of the strongest – and busiest – people you’ll ever meet. Even though we may not look busy from the outside looking in, the inside is moving faster than you’ll ever know.